Doing some praying and researching a bit, I think it's a bit more clear to me now.
I think what Jacoby was trying to do is "edify" a fellow Christian. The Bible talks about edifying one another:
Therefore let us pursue the things which make for peace and the things by which one may edify another.
Romans 14:19 NKJV
Therefore comfort each other and edify one another, just as you also are doing.
I Thessalonians 5:11 NKJV
I think what happened was that it it came across as more judgemental and condemning than as edifying. We aren't to judge, but to edifying in gentleness.
Referring to Romans 14, it says that what might be wrong to one person, may not be wrong for another. Either how a person was raised or from the studying if the Bible that they have done themselves. Now, we do know that there are absolute truths laid out for us in the Bible. There is no way around those and no excuse for not heeding them. Applying those principles to other things in life can be difficult.
I agree with Beth's summarizing thoughts because that is also how I try to gauge things. People interpret that different ways though from their walk with Christ. But I am in agreement with you and your thoughts Beth.
So I think for my summary is that, we are to edify one another in gentleness, but not to judge. We can say what we see is wrong with choices people make in a tactful manner. If we aren't tactful and come across as judging, then we havent really helped the situation. There are many times when I, myself have not been tactful and have been too hasty, and I hope you will all forgive me for that.
I also think that we are to uphold the Bible truths the the best of our knowledge and ability. If someone comes to us and tells us what they see we are doing wrong, it is helpful for us to search the Scripture for ourselves to see if what that person has said is true. Some might find it true, while others interpret things differently. So I strongly advise that we all search the Scriptures to find the truths, pray about it and also to go to those who we see as spiritual, godly leaders and see what they have to say on the matter in question.
May we all work to edify each other and not condemn. And may God bless us as we each work to apply His truths and guidance in our lives.