If I could only be there, I would want to understand your situation. If I saw my sister doing that, I would be extremely concerned for her. If it is too private to share here, then ok. But I will really want to know why you choose this. I like scars, I think they look cool, but done on purpose out of self pity is not something I would want to look at everyday. And I don’t have the Christward so, I am here with you too. If you need help, ask God for it, and believe what he says about you. ‘You are fearfully and wonderfully made’ ‘you are born with great purpose’ ‘he knew you before you were born’ ‘the very hairs on your head are numbered’ ‘come near to me, and I will draw near to you’ ‘I am at your heart knocking, will you let me in’?
He knows what you need, he knows what it is ou are going through. This is a quote I made up ‘don’t look for God with your eyes, but seek him with your heart’. As far as trusting other people, I pray you will pray to God to show you the right people to be with in real life or People here can do what They can do to help from the other side of the screen and/or me. You are alive and existing for a reason, pray and seek that you will know why.