Role-Play Reviews

[Jacoby_Elderfun1]

So here you put your reviews of the role-plays. It can be for a whole role-play or just a chapter/episode. Tell the author about how their role-play is so they can learn from your review and make the role-play better. Also right the name of the role-play you are reviewing on your comment. (Please do not chat excessively)

[Drmeh_Orangescope]

The Aetherlight: Origins, is pretty cool. I can tell Xonos has put a lot of effort into writing it and trying to include everyone.

[Xonos_Darkgrate1]

Life of a Bonnetfolly Review

"Folly? I think not."

typed by Xonos Darkgrate / presented by Rotten Potato Reviews co.

Life of a Bonnetfolly documents two people's lives. Matthew and Silverclaw. They are twins and both live by the same name, Bonnetfolly.

Overall, the story is written very well, the characters are more life-like than could be imagined, and you can definitely get a feel of what you're dealing with here. With many "real-world" references, (Jenga, board games, and such), you can almost jump into this story and play along. Which you can do actually, just fill out a bio and @Silverclaw_Bonnetfolly1, the author, will put you in. Eventually at least.

As the story progresses, more characters appear, each as exciting as before. Some are interesting, some are downright annoying, and some might just have more to themselves than meets the eye... Yet, one thing they all represent is the amazing imagination of @Silverclaw_Bonnetfolly1 and the variety of personalities you can find here today.

The story isn't written in episodes or chapter, so you'll just kinda have to keep checking for more, but it's definitely worth it. If you're thinking about reading Life of a Bonnetfolly , go ahead!

[Xonos_Darkgrate1]

Elderfun Chronicles Review

"Fun? Absolutely!"

typed by Xonos Darkgrate / presented by Rotten Potato Reviews co.

Though a little hard to follow at times because of a lack of details, the overall story was awesome! The characters had much, well, character! I think that along the way, you should begin to add a bigger story or side-plot to the mix just to get a more complex feel. Do something mysterious. Aim to amaze!! Anyways, that's just my suggestion, and whether or not you do it is your choice. Top read, "bro"!

Rotten Potato rating for Episode One: 93%Rotten Potato rating for Episode Two: 86%Rotten Potato rating for Episode Three: 97%

Overall: The potential for greatness and beyond! Great action and dialogue.

[Hanna_Brassheart]

11 posts were merged into an existing topic: Role-Play Reviews Discussion

[Drmeh_Orangescope]

My turn!

THE ELDERFUN CHRONICLES REVIEW

(Insert pun here. That was intentional).

@Jacoby_Elderfun1, the story itself is amazing. I love how descriptive you are and your use of dialogue is fantastic. However, (that sounds kinda of threatening but it's not,) I agree with Xonos that it can be a bit hard to follow sometimes and I have to reread to understand it more. Still, wonderful and great and a great read.

The only thing is... I don't see any apples to keep the doctor (me) away! I want to be in it please. I hope I can be in the next one!

[Drmeh_Orangescope]

Life Of A Bonnetfolly Review

(Add another pun here. Again, intention that I put this here.)

First off, I love how the Bonnetfolly's work together to create this work. I love how they include world life experiences with an in game story. But, in my opinion, there isn't enough descriptiveness through out the story to keep people reading. It has a great plot and it gets better everytime though and I can't wait for it to get better still.

Maybe you can work with Jacoby to help you add more descriptiveness in it and help him add detail?

[Aislinn_Mollisong1]

The Arbitray Antics of Ariella Review

This roleplay is so cool! I love the portrayal of Imperial education, and the characters are AMAZING! I can't wait to see more!

[Xonos_Darkgrate1]

Arbitrary Antics of Ariella Newheart Review

"Awesome AND Arbitrary? This is the whole package!"

typed by Xonos Darkgrate / presented by Rotten Potato Reviews co.

It's got a great story, and I'm sure that, if published, it's probably be right next to other bestsellers.
While, at the beginning, it does feel rushed, the superb details and reader-pleasing factors make up for it. Instilling a sense of adventure and the desire to stay in those wonderfully described environments, (except for the Isle...), at the same time as weaving a story around a girl and her journey.

Anyways, when I read it, here's what I thought. First of all, it's a great story, no doubt. But sometimes it feels like you're dwelling to long on ONE things or factor when you could've been adding something else. Also, I don't think there's enough character development in some places. You may planning to add more as your story goes on, but I suggest adding more to existing character's stories and backgrounds before moving on. I also advise you to add a main goal and an obstacle before it. Like a big bad, the villain of the series. While Lucky is villain enough, if you don't really portray him as the actual bad guy, then he won't seem like one. Some angry and powerful principals from the Fogworks or the Isle would probably work. Anyways, that's just my opinion. This story is absolutely amazing, @Ariella_Newheart! Keep it up!

Overall 95% rating.

Conclusion: Already awesome, just needs some more story and character development. I repeat, AWESOME. Or arbitrary....

[Xonos_Darkgrate1]

The Interesting Adventures of Emily P. Review

"Not just interesting.... CAPTIVATING."

typed by Xonos Darkgrate / presented by Rotten Potato Reviews co.

This was an interesting role-play to review. It started out as funny and cool pictures, THEN a story?! That's an achievement in itself. I find this story both versatile and quite enjoyable to read, (when I have time ).

While, it's not as eloquent of novel-worthy as some other role-plays, it really gives off the sense that it really is an adventure you went or are going through. With conversations and people just talking like this is their own little reality, this story doesn't need to be long or over-formatted to be just as good as other role-plays. While, when I'm looking for a book to read, I won't be reading this. If I'm in need for something to chuckle over and enjoy, this is that book.
Sometimes things seem a bit too compressed or mashed up to read properly, as well as the story seems a bit unclear, but honestly, it all gives a feel of a journal or a recounting from a person themselves. Overall, I think that the role-play itself is great. The story leaves more to be desired.

Overall 74% rating.

Conclusion: This story never fails to live up to it's title. Adventurous, and interesting.

[Hanna_Brassheart]

2 posts were merged into an existing topic: Role-Play Reviews Discussion

[Xonos_Darkgrate1]

Ilayne Merespark: My Story Review

I can't find anything punny to write here... (me. am. ashamed.)

typed by Xonos Darkgrate / presented by Rotten Potato Reviews co.

Nice storytelling, would go along very nicely with other popular books on the shelves you find today. I think that the story is awesome, and the way you portray different characters and elements of Aetherlight is very interesting and fun.

The way characters interact make the story seem alive, and it definitely feels like you can jump into it's world. Though, sometimes it's hard to understand things or read through some paragraphs simply because there's too much in one sentence or part. But the detail is awesome, and some of the things there are really cool because I would never have payed attention to those certain details.

In short, this story is a treat for appreciators of abundant detail.

Overall 85% rating.

Conclusion: Great read for when bored, keeps you alert as you read through riveting paragraphs.

[Xonos_Darkgrate1]

Aislinn Mollisong, HERO! Review

"The story infuses a sense of adventure within each part, worthy of a hero indeed."

typed by Xonos Darkgrate / presented by Rotten Potato Reviews co.

Unlike any other role-plays when it first came out and still extremely popular now, Aislinn Mollisong, HERO! was the first role-play of its kind and inspired many more to come.

One of the defining features of it would be that the author itself did not just restrict the story writing to herself, but let everyone else get in on the action too. In the role-play anyone is able to jump in and start writing: immediately adding to the awesome story that is slowly developed through quick thinking and friendly fun.

It can get crazy at times, that's for sure, but in the end, it is still loads of fun for anyone who joins. Although, because of the complexity built over time, it is getting harder to smoothly transition right into the storyline if you're a new participator. This also creates a choppy (and let's be honest, weird at times) story and situations in certain parts that everyone is awkward in writing. Despite that, I'd still take time to write in this whenever I feel like it. It's just that fun.

Overall 76% rating.

Conclusion: A sometimes strange role-play, but has unlimited potential.

[Jacoby_Elderfun1]

2 posts were merged into an existing topic: Role-Play Reviews Discussion

[Kimkate_Burnclock]

Etlo Maxlance's story

Etlo Maxlance's story is one of my favorite story role plays on the forums, as well as one of the first we ever read! Eerie discovered it first and told us about it. When Lila and I sat down to read it, we read the whole thing through in one day!

In this story, @Etlo_Maxlance tells his beginning and how he came to No Man's Landing to protect @Vytanni_Throttlenight. Their further adventures make this story a digital page turner, hilarious and absolutely awesome at the same time!

The chapters are shorter then most role plays, making it a bit easier to read for those of us who dislike reading through single never-ending posts.

Overall 95%

Conclusion: High in adventure and comedy, great for those with limited time and patience.

[Kimkate_Burnclock]

The World from Rachel Blackruin's eyes

"Why would he want to hurt so many innocent people? What had we done to him? We used his fog, gave up 50 percent of our earnings to him, followed his laws, yet he still hated us,"

Although The World from Rachel Blackruin's eyes only has one episode so far, it's still worth reading.

@Rachel_Blackruin began as a farmgirl in Evergreen Meadows. She recounts the devastating Imperial attack on the Meadows, how it effected her family and the farmlands.

The World from Rachel Blackruin's eyes was off to an excellent start, but sadly, it hasn't been continued. It doesn't take long to read, so please take some time to read through it. Will @Rachel_Blackruin be continuing it? None can tell.

Overall: 86

Conclusion: Interesting, but a bit slow at times. Would love to see it continued.

[Sierepica_Fuzzywalker]

"Chariots of Aether? This story has plenty of FIRE."

by Sierepica Fuzzywalker, reviewer.

Admittedly, this roleplay begins with a shameless marketing ploy in the form of a poll. However, since this is on the list of Fuzzywalker approved shameless marketing ploys, this is not cause for undue judgement on the part of the audience. The author even, in an act of humility, suggests that other people's stories might be better. Overall Mr. Darkgap has made an outstanding first impression worthy of our respect.

After some logistics and a good attempt at humor, Granville_Darkgap's roleplay gets underway with a surprisingly friendly writing voice and bringing us into his life in Aesthesia. We learn about his problems with his neighbors stealing his stuff and his friendship with the urchins.

The best part of this role-play has to do with when the Automations try to arrest Granville. He always thinks of creative and nigh-impossible ways to evade the autos, which are funny to read. Also, the pictures that accompany this story are adorable. While Mr. Darkgap could use some better organization, and it's slightly unclear what the theme of the story is...or whether there was an actual chariot...the story's level of humor and emotion makes up for it. A bit more application to meaning, and Mr. Darkgap will be a talented author indeed.

7/10

[Sierepica_Fuzzywalker]

The Flaming Embers of Deep Tragedy

But not of writing style! Indeed, the story's blazing light is superb!

After the delightful comedic romp of Darkgap, we turn to a story that begins with a statement of recklessly empowering poetry. The second chapter ends with a hint of mystery, suggesting that either Miss K is two people, or Miss A survived the awful factory of Emberlin with Miss K. As we move further into the story, the second possibility is established.

Emberlin is so...dark. It appears that Miss K and Miss A are...sad. Despite this, it is an incredibly well-written sad story. We move from the oppressive nature of the factory to the poverty of the urchins. When Miss K moves to Aesthasia, we are introduced to another character, Ana, who is slightly confusing as where she is or was. The easiest story to follow here is the one of Miss K, and then Ana and Miss Amberstone with the babies and toddlers after this strange transition.

As for whether this story will end in victory for Miss K and Ana and Miss A, or end in abject tragedy, only time will tell...hopefully this story will look up soon...