Grammar Police Topic Reopening Soon!
—4/25/2018, The Beacon News—
Weeks ago, following a fiasco involving several well-meaning Grammar Police officers, G.P.H.Q. was closed down temporarily in an attempt to calm things down. Just 15 minutes ago, one of our interviewers caught up with COTLPOA (Captain Of The Litter Police Of Aethasia) Hanna Brassheart at Ariella's tea shop. Satisfied at the results of the closure, Ms. Brassheart had this to say:
"Yeah, I'm happy at the way things have gone."
During the interview, we asked Hanna if she knew anything about when the topic would officially reopen. Ms. Brassheart replied, "GPHQ's doors — barring any sort of catastrophe or emergency, of course — will be officially reopened to the officers on May 1st! We're thinking of having a ribbon-cutting ceremony," Hanna added with a smirk and a laugh. She continued, "I'd just like to say, to all of The Beacon's Grammar Police readers, I thank you for being so patient during this process! The Grammar Police serve a noble purpose, one I've always admired: to kindly help others improve their grammar skills. But even though Grammar is undoubtably important, it's more important to remain kind. Thanks to you all!"
We'll see you at the ribbon-cutting ceremony on May 1st, outside Grammar Police Headquarters!