I believe that has God has sovereign control over all things, and that humans have the responsibility to make right choices based on the Scripture, etc. I also believe that the Calvinists and the Armenians will be battling it out until the end of time, because neither "side" has sufficient information to fully understand the reality of which they are battling about. Thus, I choose not to enter into a debate that cannot provide full understanding of the scriptural reality, and trying to label me as a member of either party is similarly unproductive.
The answer probably has something to do with the beyond-time nature of God in combination with his omniscience of all human thought and all psychological variables that go into making our decisions. The closest we've come to understanding that is forms of planning that allocate for opposition by planning for multiple contingencies. Because of Romans 8:28, multiple Xanatos Gambits must be involved on God's part:
However, this is an insufficient and crude way of understanding God, because not only is God able to engineer all outcomes so that they benefit him, but he is also able to engineer outcomes to benefit us as well, regardless of which choice we make. (But he still knows all the choices we are going to make anyway... )
On some level I believe that making Scriptural choices is a matter of avoiding pain along the road to good outcomes - because of Romans 8:28 the good outcomes will always be arrived at that God wants, but will you choose the best route that God told you was better to reach the good outcome, or will you fight him and suffer badly as a result as God corrects your sin in painful ways?
But that understanding falls apart on other levels because there are good outcomes that can ONLY be reached by going through the fire - you have to learn a lesson (or 200) to get to that outcome, and the only way you'll learn is through unexpected suffering. And gobbling down Scripture to evade suffering and trying to learn because of that makes an idol out of evading suffering which is WRONG...you need to trust God's control over your life. Otherwise you'll be in for a LOT more suffering. (IRONY!)
So I am not a Calivinist nor an Armeniest, but hang out in the camp of "IDK" and watch the battle with an amused on my face.
Side note: I also believe that in certain limited incidences, God's grace and sovereignty can be "read" - that is, you can look back on things and see God's hand at work, especially if you have a strong knowledge of Scripture and God's character and what improvements - i.e. more Christlikeness - he is looking for, how that benefits others, etc. Don't worry if you can't see this yet - it seems easier for older people to tell this one, and not everyone can see it easily. People have different spiritual gifts, and that seems to have an effect on this.
Sorry for long answer, @Hans_Oddcraft. But yeah.