glares That was the wrong meme for that post, Otterblast. I have no romantic feelings for anyone on the forums. I am probably at least 10 years older than the average forumer, and I have no interest in getting thrown in jail. So not really a funny joke. My explanations and my writing are my gift to the forums, as always.
Philia sans eros, merci.
Yes, I am an INTJ, but also, I had to survive an emotionally abusive parent and learn how to write well, which required that I be able to explain my emotions and what I was feeling to myself and others. I also incidentally found during all of that explaining them on online forums to be of use, it works for commercial writing, etc. People pay musicians every day to explain emotions to them. That is what some writers do as well.
I want to write like this so very badly that I will take any opportunity to do so, and I will take great lengths to be able to do so. I am probably just as invested in my writing/web design business as Levi is in his romantic life, the process of writing, and so on. All one needs is one look at the essays topic to figure that out. And I'm okay with that being known. I just like writing timely relevant explanations, really like it. Up to the point where I will swallow a subject that I don't like - romance, ugh - to write them, apparently. I think I have surprised even myself today.
Now obviously if that is being done obnoxiously or wrongly, detrimentally, I would hope that everyone would call me on it. But yeah, that runs deep in me, so much that my dad couldn't abuse me out of it or make me quit. Hence why I am working on getting paid for it. I am working on the website and expanding it as we speak.
Meanwhile, if anyone tries to set me up with someone here I'm going to have to leave and I will be absolutely gone immediately. You all gonna get me thrown in jail. Jail!
What I was trying to do was place a female perspective on the subject so you might have an angle on what your potential girlfriends may be thinking. Most ladies have a factual perspective on romantic things, is my experience. I've gone to ladies' bible studies with older women and sat in on all of the conversations, and the impression I get is how logical they are.
Throwing us back a thousand years might help explain the difference a little more. A woman was reliant, for the most part, on men for protection and physical survival. This is a logical and factual calculation. One guy has 200 sheep and the other guy has 20 sheep. If I want more lamb dinner, I'm going with the first guy. There was also preference involved - if the dude with 20 sheep has a fortress in the mountains, I might be more inclined to go with the second guy because I'll be safer.
The price for physical survival for women was childbirth. Hence the stigma around barren women for being a drag.
Now a dude a thousand years ago would be able to survive without a wife, but he likely wouldn't be able to do more than that without children to help him. Back in the day, children were necessary to help plow the land and the field and do other work around the house. Thus what a man received from a marriage is emotional agency and validation - the "I deserve to exist and accomplish stuff" thing. The children would also be responsible for providing for the parents in old age, which is where the "honor your father and your mother so that your days may be long" command comes from. Without the offspring's financial support in old age, the parents would die. Parenting used to be a matter of life or death for the parents.
Now in our modern life, the situation has changed, but our desires have not. (The problem is that we are using robots instead of children these days.) A man is still looking for agency and emotional validation and is willing to sacrifice for it. A woman is still hedging her bets against starvation and misery, doing logical and factual calculations to ensure her own safety. The problem is, these days women can earn their own living and survive without men, and men can get agency and emotional validation from video games (or so I hear). Thus all of our emotions get confused - do I want romance or an alternative? In an age of remote work, the pain of giving birth is starting to look unattractive by comparison, and in the age of the internet with instant validation, the pain of dating evaluation and rejection is starting to look unattractive.
However, every woman still has their price of birth. It's just different between ladies. For this particular damsel, you haven't found it yet, apparently. The problem is not your willingness to pay the price - you have more than enough emotional space for that. Maybe she wants support for a skill or hobby that everyone else despises. Maybe she wants validation for a character trait of hers. Maybe she wants a comedy show. I don't know. Women give birth for all sorts of reasons these days. It's usually "she validates me on _______ and I support her (in) _________."
Anyway, growls, I told people not to do something, and here I end up doing it. I'm done with this conversation for now because it's clear that I can't handle it and I'm not doing anything productive at all. walks out