Given that I had to look up the definition of biblical self-control just now to be sure that I had it right...okay I'll put the links here in case someone cares:
Speaking from personal experience, I can tell you that self-control is hard. You shouldn't beat yourself up for not having such control. This is something that I still struggle with, believe it or not - and probably will until the day I die. Mastering emotional control alone has taken me years of hard work, and there is still cracks in that mastery in my life still. Note that doesn't mean that you should give up - the rewards of getting it far outweigh the pain, but it is a painful process for most to do.
Note that if you are down to zero, you probably have external influences feeding that, people or internet things, but if your efforts are consistently failing, you probably are failing to deal with the internal cause. Unfortunately, this is a huge elephant that you can't just expect to magically learn all at once. If you don't expect to master piano in a day, then you will not certainly master yourself in a day! Piano is easy compared to solving puzzles at high speed while taking live fire and trying to comfort a scared kid in the middle of the war who is scared of the fire and wants to bail out on a kayak in the middle of a river, which is the closest analogy I can think of to the complexity of self-development.
If you are looking to develop self-control, you need to narrow your process down to a specific situation. The devil loves vague spiritual goals like "develop more self-control". So isolate yourself down to a specific situation in which you need more control, and try to isolate the lie you believe that is the cause of the problematic behavior.
The simplest way to get at that is to ask: Why do I want to do this? What benefit do I expect to get from this? Do I really need this benefit? Do I really need this? Why? Why do I think I need this?
Another way is to ask: Does this make me feel better temporarily? What painful thing am I trying to avoid with this? Why is this thing I'm trying to avoid painful for me?
What's annoying is that your brain may tell you the WRONG answer in response to these questions. The test for that is to ask "why do I think this is the answer?" which might reveal something else. Why do I think this is true?
I also recommend writing the answers to these questions down. That's because you are fighting your brain here and your emotional attachments you have to certain actions. You are fighting your own emotions here. Your brain won't remember these answers well. You also have to pray and use Scripture during this process, because the next step is the inevitable Is this true? in which you test your reason for your action against Scripture. If it is false, you tell your brain "X reason is not true, this scripture is true, and therefore my action in the situation is this, not this other thing." This should change your action in the specific situation and bring it under your control.
But sometimes even this doesn't work, because you can have more than one reason for a corrupt action! Human brains are terrible sometimes. You can go through this entire process and still want to do the wrong thing. Which means that you have to start over: "Why I do I still want to do this?" "Why do still feel like this?"
And now you know why this process can take years! It's maddening when you first start, because your brain doesn't want you to do it - you need God's help to even want to do it, his enablement to even start. Also: external demands on your time don't stop when you start this process, so I recommend managing when you do your self-examinations, because you can (if you're not careful) get lost inside your head and forget to handle your external obligations (I've done this). Don't let your quest for self-mastery destroy your entire external life!
Alright, I could I write an entire book on this...in fact, I did lol, but that is the basics. (Despite this, I still am not an expert...but whatever.) And I will pray for both of you. You'll need it .
I can relate to this. I will pray for you.
Praying for all of the other requests...praise the Lord that Ariella's toe wasn't as bad as I feared, which is always good.