I can't really explain it, but this made me stop, and think. At first I was just like "oh that sounds awful" but later I realized, "wait, actually that's kinda true for me and my brothers." Actually, caleb and Nautilus' situation could be totally different, but this made me realize - again - that my family is worse than I let myself believe. I never really think or care about what happens in my family, I've just been living in my own happy, secluded world, out of everyone's way. And it's true that it's difficult to have an actually meaningful conversation without it being awkward and...honestly, scary, to me. Really, it's hard for me to have a conversation with anyone, but, I know if I can't even talk to my own family, then I ought to be concerned.
Over the past year or so, I've been slowly noticing things and thinking about them, and even crying over them, but right here, right now, I won't stand for it. As the oldest of my siblings, and as a Christian, I resolve to get out of this solitary fantasy world I've been living in and fight for my family. I shall resist the fog, fear, anger, and anything else that threatens to tear this family apart. It could be worse, but it also could be way better. I know I'm not entirely responsible for the well-being of this family, (I'm not my parents) but I can do the best I know how and be an example to my little brothers. I bet it'll take heaps of courage, and, honestly, I can be quite a coward.
So... That's what I want prayer for. Courage. And wisdom.
