Fear is not really the way to inspire a loving son-in-law/father-in-law relationship. This also strikes me as overprotective and nasty.
I like item #8, though.
My dad would. Except for #8. I don't consider that a good thing.
This is probably an attitude I need to work on, but I've rejected the marriage idea at times because I've been scared of what my dad will say or do to the person who marries me. That T-shirt reminds me of that. shudder