Speaking as someone who has attended two funerals (memorial services) for people whom I have actually known and was sorry to lose, that is not it at all.
The last funeral I attended was for a church friend of mine who had prayed me through hard times. The funeral was set up to accommodate the family, who wanted to focus on their memories of the dead person’s life and the lessons she had taught them.
After the service, we all sat outside and ate snack food and talked with each other, both about our relationship to the dead person and about other things. It was very cathartic and allowed the attendees of the funeral, a large group of women, to process their thoughts and move on with life, to recognize our past and to recognize, most importantly, that we were all still alive and needed to move on.
At no point did we look down derisively at the person’s dead body. The funeral service accommodated the living and the dead person was honored. So both things can be done at once. It’s not an either-or.
If the dead person had demanded a funeral that was uncomfortable for the family and made a list of requirements for it, if the family wanted to disregard it, I would side with them. They need space to process their grief. This didn’t happen in the case of my friend, but if it did happen, yeah.