Yep. I have been told on multiple occasions that it seems I "skim through the writing" instead of leading the reader through it. On Nola A.: Case Unsolved, it's something I strive not to do, but it's essentially a weakness, no doubt.
Also, keep in mind I was a bit rushed this time. I had a bed alarm set, and I needed to get it done yesterday since it had already been over a week. Sorry for the confusion. With the first quote, however, it was a bit brisk on purpose, although perhaps too brisk. Thanks for the input.