I say it once, I say it again.
(For I wouldn’t want you hurt, my friend).
Shut your doors, lock them tight,
Never come out when day is night.
For when darkness falls and people sleep,
Fouler things on hepta-legs creep.
Check your sheets, keep them clean,
Leave no space in-between
For the smaller bugs with sharper teeth
To find their way underneath.
Rinse your sinks, purge the pipes,
Clear the gutter, rinse the grime.
For every blemish left to its own
Invites a bug to make its home.
But sometimes in a house that’s clean
A bug might get in,
If that’s the case, be sure to trace
The bug in its own disgusting wake:
A trail of grub, slime, and larvae–
All which you must burn in utmost haste.
Suppose the bug survives
And you, my friend, are yet alive.
Not to worry, you still have time.
Find a sword, a knife, or axe,
(Whatever can chop, or slice, or hack)
Attack the crustacean and its brethren head on
(Be sure to avoid their toxic venom)
From there you kill them one by one
And hope to God that it’ll soon be done.
I hope this serves as sufficient warning
To prevent screaming nights and silent mornings.
So when you go to bed each night
Make sure to sleep very tight
For bed bugs in Burton do indeed bite.